School’s here. Maybe you’re excited to see friends, maybe you’re dreading early mornings, or maybe it’s a mix of both. Either way, the first weeks of school usually come with curveballs: the class schedule you didn’t want, teachers who pile on homework, or finding out your best friend doesn’t have lunch at the same time as you.
It’s easy to get stuck in thoughts like “This isn’t fair”, or “This year is going to be terrible” but that can just make things feel worse. This is where a DBT skill called Radical Acceptance can help.
How do we use Radical Acceptance for back to school?
Radical Acceptance is about saying: “This is what’s happening right now, even if I don’t like it.” It doesn’t mean you’re okay with it or that you must pretend it’s good. It just means you stop fighting reality so you can use your energy to cope.
Think of it like being caught in a rainstorm without an umbrella. You can stand there yelling “It shouldn’t be raining!” but you’ll still be wet. Radical Acceptance is about noticing, “Okay, it’s raining. Now what? Should I run for cover or just enjoy splashing in the puddles?”. Radical Acceptance could actually lead to a smooth problem solving, in this case!
How to Use It at School
Here are a few everyday ways to practice Radical Acceptance when school stress shows up:
• *Catch the “This isn’t fair” thoughts
Notice when your brain starts fighting reality.
Example: “I can’t believe I got put in that class.”
• *State the fact out loud (or in your head)
Example: “I’m in this class. That’s where I am this year.”
• *Take a breath
Remind yourself: “I don’t have to like this, but I can deal with it.”
• *Shift your focus
Once you accept the situation, you can decide what’s next:
– Can you talk to a guidance counselor?
– Can you find a positive in the class, like making a new friend?
– Can you use your energy for something that makes you feel better like go for a walk, or draw?
Why Bother?
When you practice Radical Acceptance, you:
• Stress less over things you can’t control.
• Think more clearly about your options.
• Bounce back faster from disappointments.
It’s like giving your brain extra room to breathe.
One Last Thing
Starting a new school year is a lot. It’s normal to feel frustrated, disappointed, or anxious at times. Radical Acceptance won’t make tough stuff magically disappear, but it can make it easier to “get through it!”. And when you stop fighting reality, you leave more energy for what actually matters: your friends, your goals, and the things you enjoy.