By: Lisa Donnelly, MSW, RSW
As a therapist, one of the key things I work on with my clients is building resilience—the ability to effectively handle and bounce back from life’s stressors. One powerful tool that can help individuals strengthen their emotional resilience is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), specifically through the ABC PLEASE skills. These skills focus on a combination of self-care strategies, aimed at creating a solid foundation for emotional regulation and stress management.
In this post, I’ll break down the ABC PLEASE skills, explain how they work, and explore how they can help individuals develop the resilience needed to navigate life’s inevitable challenges.
What Are the ABC PLEASE Skills?
The ABC PLEASE skills are a set of strategies in DBT that are designed to improve physical and emotional health, thereby boosting resilience. They are part of the distress tolerance module, which emphasizes skills for managing difficult emotions and maintaining mental clarity during times of stress. The acronym ABC PLEASE stands for:
- A: Accumulate positive emotions
- B: Build mastery
- C: Cope ahead
- P: Physical illness
- L: Eating balanced meals
- E: Avoiding mood-altering drugs
- A: Get enough sleep
- S: Exercise
- E: Get support
Together, these skills address both emotional and physical well-being, offering a comprehensive approach to stress management and resilience-building.
How ABC PLEASE Skills Build Resilience
Resilience doesn’t come from simply enduring stress—it comes from actively developing the internal resources and habits that enable us to cope with and recover from challenges. The ABC PLEASE skills lay the groundwork for this process by promoting a healthy body and mind. When both are in a balanced, well-maintained state, you’re better equipped to face stressful situations with clarity and calm.
Let’s dive into each component and explore how it contributes to emotional resilience:
1. Accumulate Positive Emotions (A)
Building a bank of positive experiences can make it easier to manage stress when difficult times arise. By intentionally seeking out moments of joy, gratitude, and relaxation, you increase your emotional capacity to handle adversity. This could mean taking time to enjoy small pleasures, such as savouring a cup of coffee, spending time with loved ones, or engaging in hobbies you love. Positive emotions build a reservoir of strength, which helps you stay grounded during stressful situations.
2. Build Mastery (B)
Mastery refers to the process of gaining competence and confidence in various aspects of your life. Whether it’s learning a new skill, succeeding at work, or accomplishing personal goals, building mastery strengthens your self-esteem and resilience. When you feel capable and competent, you are more likely to approach challenges with a problem-solving mindset rather than feeling overwhelmed. Mastery helps you feel empowered, which reduces the impact of stress.
3. Cope Ahead (C)
Cope ahead is a proactive strategy that involves planning how you will handle future stressors. Anticipating stressful situations and preparing for them can significantly reduce anxiety and emotional overwhelm. By thinking through how you’ll manage challenges, you create a mental framework that boosts your confidence and ability to respond effectively. Coping ahead also helps you feel less reactive and more in control when difficult situations arise.
4. Physical Illness (Pl)
Our physical health has a direct impact on our emotional well-being. When we’re dealing with physical illness or discomfort, it can be much harder to manage stress and regulate emotions. Addressing physical health by seeking treatment, managing chronic conditions, or staying up to date with health check-ups allows you to prevent unnecessary emotional strain. Physical health is foundational to resilience—if your body is not well, your mind will struggle to cope with stressors.
5. Eating Balanced Meals (E)
Nutrition plays a key role in both physical and emotional health. When we eat balanced meals, we fuel our body and brain with the nutrients needed to function at our best. Poor nutrition can lead to mood swings, irritability, and fatigue—making it harder to respond to stress effectively. Eating regularly and including a variety of healthy foods (like fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains) helps stabilize energy levels and mood, making it easier to stay calm and resilient when stressors arise.
6. Avoiding Mood-Altering Drugs (A)
Mood-altering substances like alcohol, recreational drugs, and excessive caffeine may provide temporary relief from stress, but they can ultimately increase emotional instability. These substances interfere with the body’s natural ability to regulate emotions, leading to more stress in the long term. By avoiding or limiting these substances, you allow your body to maintain a more stable emotional state, which is crucial for building resilience and managing stress.
7. Getting Enough Sleep (S)
Sleep is vital for both physical health and emotional regulation. When we don’t get enough sleep, we become more susceptible to irritability, anxiety, and stress. Sleep deprivation impairs cognitive function, making it harder to think clearly and manage emotions. On the other hand, quality sleep restores energy levels, improves mood, and enhances resilience. Prioritizing restful sleep each night strengthens your emotional capacity to handle stress and ensures that you wake up ready to face the day with clarity and strength.
8. Exercise (E)
Regular physical activity has profound benefits for mental health. Exercise promotes the release of endorphins, the body’s natural mood enhancers, which can alleviate feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression. In addition, exercise improves physical health, increases energy, and reduces tension. Even small bouts of exercise—like a daily walk or stretching—can improve your resilience by helping you release stress and stay physically and mentally strong.
Building Resilience for Life’s Challenges
The ABC PLEASE skills of DBT emphasize the importance of a holistic approach to building resiliency and managing stress. By taking care of your physical health, building positive emotional experiences, and proactively preparing for challenges, you can create a foundation of resilience that enables you to handle life’s ups and downs with greater ease.
Incorporating these skills into your daily routine will not only help you manage current stressors but also strengthen your ability to cope with future challenges. Resilience isn’t about avoiding stress—it’s about building the emotional tools and physical health necessary to navigate it effectively.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling to manage stress, remember that you don’t have to do it alone. The ABC PLEASE skills can be a helpful guide, and reaching out for additional support might be the first step in building the resilience you need. Whether you’re looking for more information on DBT or need help implementing these strategies in your life, I encourage you to reach out. Together, we can explore how to develop lasting emotional resilience and create a healthier, more balanced life.
Feel free to contact me for more information or to schedule a session. Let’s work together to create a plan that empowers you to face life’s challenges with confidence and clarity.