By: Sara Carpentier, MSW, RSW
Can you recall something significant about your drive to work or school this morning? Did you intentionally plan out or map your route, or did you automatically travel the same path you always do without paying attention? Can you recall the last time you brushed your teeth? I imagine you know that you did it recently, but can you remember any details about this experience? If you relate to either of these examples, you are not alone! We all do this; we have an auto pilot mode where we engage in familiar tasks without conscious awareness. Many of us spend a lot of our time here, which is why this is an important discussion to have and something to pay attention to.
Auto pilot mode is not a bad thing. It’s likely that some judgments have come up as you recall your own experiences while reading this. Let us just notice those judgments and remind ourselves that this is ok and, at times, can be helpful. There can be some value in spending time automatically moving through your day; we don’t need to focus our attention on certain activities. For tasks that are well known to us, auto pilot mode can allow us to multitask. For example, on your drive to work, you can prep for a meeting ahead, review your to-do list, chat on the phone, or plan what you will cook for dinner. You can have space where your attention is not intentionally directed; you can allow your thoughts to be distracted or wander. It can be nice to switch to “off” mode. However, many of us are spending too much time here.
As with everything, there is a need to be mindful of balance, and there are reasons why we do not want to spend too much or all of our time distracted. One of the drawbacks of not being consciously aware of our present moment is that we are not connected to our emotions. Auto pilot mode does not allow us to be attuned to what it is we are feeling. We need to pay attention to what is happening and what our emotions, thoughts and bodies are communicating to us. It also can prevent us from connecting with others and get in the way of nourishing our relationships. This mode also doesn’t support us to live aligned with our values. We want to live intentionally and meaningfully, which requires a greater level of awareness.
We need both an autopilot mode and moments of intentional focus. You have likely heard about mindfulness, which is a core skill in many treatment modalities. Mindfulness is about bringing ourselves into a more conscious method of being, paying attention to our experience. There are many ways in which we can start to open up our awareness, and the first step is to notice when you are in auto drive. Name the autopilot when it shows up and start to practice some mindful moments throughout your day. Stop yourselves in whatever you are doing and use your five senses to observe the present moment. It doesn’t have to be for a long time, every second matters. There are many ways in which we can learn to recognize our time automatically and determine if it may be helpful to focus on cultivating more mindfulness through various interventions. For those working with a therapist, this is very likely something you have spoken about. For others who may not have had these discussions, pay attention to which mode you are spending your time in and think about ensuring that we are sitting in both the driver and passenger seats!
“I want to do life – each day, each moment – less on autopilot and more on purpose” Erica Layne