By: Nicole Lancaster, MMT, RP(Q)
About a year ago, I had made plans to go to a concert with a friend but I had just had a really rough day. I thought about cancelling, but decided to make myself go, though I’ll admit I was pretty grumpy and frustrated the whole way there. We walked into the concert venue and the opening band was playing. I was hit by a wall of post-punk/rock/grunge style music that normally isn’t my style, but I absolutely loved it. Why? In that moment I realized I had spent the day trying to move on from an interaction I was quite angry about, but wasn’t allowing myself to ride the wave of anger. This music validated my emotional experience and allowed me to feel the anger in a contained and connected way. By the time the band had finished, I had felt my way through the anger, and although I was exhausted, the anger I had carried all day was gone for the time. I had ridden the wave.
Although music has been around since the beginning of time, there is a growing amount of research from the music therapy field supporting how our mind and body respond directly to music. Humans are innately musical (even those who claim they don’t have a musical bone in their body). Our heart beats to a steady rhythm and the neurons in our brain fire in rhythmic pulses. Listening to music is one of the few activities that light up nearly every area of the brain, including the amygdala (our emotion control centre). Music can describe and evoke emotions and activate us both mentally and physically (like changing our heart rate, blood pressure etc.).
In DBT, we are often employing skills to either accept or change our emotional state. Examples of acceptance tools would be riding the wave or the reality of acceptance. Change skills could include TIPP or opposite action. Now imagine if there was a tool at our disposal that could enhance our emotional acceptance and change skills. Chances are, you probably already use music to enhance or change your mood. What I hope to do here is connect how we can use music listening intentionally to enhance some DBT skills around accepting or changing our emotions.
When using music listening to intentionally accept or shift an emotional state:
- Check-in with your wise mind for what you need: am I fuelling an emotional state that would be more effective to shift? Do I need to practice sitting with this emotion and riding out the wave? Am I looking for change or acceptance of the emotion?
- Eliminate unnecessary distractions if you can.
- Pick music that YOU enjoy. The most effective music is music that is most preferred. (I’ve put in some examples based on my musical preference; I encourage you to find your own)
Music for Emotional Acceptance:
This is something we have all probably done either intentionally or unintentionally at times. Notice, what emotion are you feeling (or resisting but know you need to feel)? Now what song feels most validating? Listen to it and notice what comes up for you (thoughts, emotions, sensations). When the song is done, check in with yourself. Do you need to sit with this feeling a bit longer, or can you continue with your day? Music can also push us into emotional states that may be ineffective, so checking in with our wise mind after each song is important.
Music for Emotional Change:
The skill that comes to mind here is opposite action. This skill requires us to fully engage with acting opposite to the emotion by changing our body language, resisting urges, and fully participating in the opposite action. What if there was a song to go along with our opposite action? Below is a chart to get you started on finding your opposite action playlist for a handful of emotions.
| Emotion you want to act opposite to | Song Prompts | Examples |
| Sadness | What song(s) bring happy memories, focus on the present, are activating? | Feeling Good Nina Simone Here Comes the Sun The Beatles |
| Fear | What song(s) make you feel confident and/or are activating? | Nina Cried Power Hozier Carry On FUN |
| Anger | What song(s) do you find soothing, calming, or help slow you down? | Spiegel im Spiegel Avro Pärt Myfanwy- Sheku Kenneh-Mason (cello cover) |
| Shame | What song(s) allow you to feel free or unburdened? | Bird Set Free Sia Confident Demi Lovato |
Music & Motivation
Music can be incredibly activating when used effectively. Are you struggling to get out of bed or go to work? Listening to music at 140-150 BPM (beats per minute) has been proven to make us physically sit forward and prepare for movement. Did you know if you search on Spotify 140BPM, it will curate a playlist of music for you at this tempo? This might be helpful if you need some opposite action activation with sadness or fear. Try it out!
Other Resources on music & the brain and music therapy:
Podcast: Canadian Music Therapy: Beyond the Studio https://beyondthestudio.ca/podcast
Podcast: Music & motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gveDhZW-rUk
Book: This is your Brain on Music by Daniel J. Levitin
By Nicole Lancaster, Registered Music Therapist and Psychotherapist (Qualifying)