By: Michelle Lau, RD
Reviewed, with thanks, by Naiara Perin Darim, M.Psy
The restrict > binge cycle.
Have you ever been tempted to skip a meal to lose weight? Not eat when you’re out with your friends because the foods they’re choosing don’t fit in your diet? These seemingly benign decisions are considered restricting as they deprive your body of what it needs. What commonly happens when you restrict is this hypervigilance and obsession with food, “What did I already eat today, what will I allow myself to eat at the next meal, how can I do better”. It can take up much of your brain space and thought processes. And often, a binge usually follows (eating beyond comfortable fullness, feeling out of control). The uncomfortable emotions of shame and guilt often follow a binge, “I can’t believe I did that, I have no self-control, now I have to start all over again”. And to “make up” for the binge, as penance, you guessed it, we restrict again.
We do it because it works.
Restriction and binging are effective for emotion regulation. They are not skillful, and they work…in the short-term…the very short-term. Long-term, they wreak havoc on both mental and physical health, but we’ll save that topic for another blog post. Restriction works by numbing thoughts, decreasing intensity of big emotions, and distracting from other painful stimuli (physical pain may be preferred over emotional or mental discomfort). Restriction works because it gives us a temporary, false sense of emotional control. It can feel like you are coming up for a breath of air after being trapped underwater.
Binging works by shooing away uncomfortable emotions, most often the ones related to interpersonal experiences, such as being disappointed, hurt and lonely. Binging is like a big hug. It provides comfort. It brings calmness. It is soothing and reliable.
Why it does not truly work.
It is not an effective solution because of the shame/guilt spiral which occurs after the binge. “What’s wrong with me, how can I make up for this”. This self-talk leads to restriction, which leads to binging. Repeat.
What to do instead.
Self-compassion. Forgive, accept, and love yourself. Give yourself the tenderness, patience, and care you would to a loved one. You can’t bully yourself out of restricting and binging. Being self-compassionate helps you to self-regulate, which can help mitigate the cycle.
Eat enough. If you meet your caloric and protein needs during the day, this eliminates hunger playing a role in the binge. You can work with a Registered Dietitian (RD) to ensure you are meeting your nutrition needs during the day and to optimise your meal patterns. A good first step is to eat frequently (every 3-4 hours), eat a variety of foods at each meal (hit all the food groups to get a range of nutrients), and eat what you truly want to eat (so you feel satisfied and full).
Eat breakfast. If you binged the day before, eat breakfast. This immediately breaks the cycle of restriction and the need to “try again tomorrow”. Instead of thinking “I’ll restrict tomorrow”, think “I’ll regulate my eating tomorrow”.
Ultimately, the end-game is for you to trade in restricting and binging for more skillful ways to cope with intense emotions (spoiler alert – these are the DBT skills).
As parting words, I will leave you with this quote (ok, two, I couldn’t decide):
“Your body is always deserving of food. You don’t have to earn it.”
“No food will ever hurt you as much as your eating disorder will.”