By: Alyson Dudley, MSW, RSW
At a recent Broadview Psychology team lunch, the topic of scheduling around activities, school, hobbies, friends, family and employment came up. Many of our clinicians are also parents and the discussion focused on trying to find balance in a world with many activities, obligations, and distractions and how difficult the juggling of all these responsibilities can indeed be. Of course, it is also important to note that for many, the opposite can happen, in that they find it difficult to be engaged with life.
Interestingly, the topic of balancing schedules was also the topic in the Adolescent DBT group, for the past few weeks as well. The adolescents in the group spoke about the struggles they face with balancing school, extra-curricular activities, family, employment and friends including online interactions as well as how difficult it can be to motivate themselves to engage in life. We spoke about the concepts of overscheduling and under-scheduling and how both can have negative side effects at times, such as feeling overwhelmed or feeling bored and lonely. Participants were asked to consider what was important to them regarding structure for their lives, including such topics as sleep, socializing, relaxation, school requirements, physical activity, creative expression and having fun. Participants spoke about the importance of finding balance. As with many DBT skills, balance can be key.
If you are noticing that perhaps you are over-scheduled or under-scheduled, some helpful considerations might include:
- Using mindfulness to notice what is happening for yourself and your family
- Consider your values and what is important for you and your family
- Consider balancing your schedule, giving yourself time for the many parts of your life, including time for yourself
- Be realistic about what you and your family can be part of
- Try to commit to what you have decided to do AND be willing to adjust as needed
- Acknowledge your efforts and reinforce and encourage balanced participation for yourself and your family with praise and other incentives
Many of us feel the strain of an over-scheduled lifestyle or perhaps the lack of motivation with an under-scheduled lifestyle. As mentioned above, it can be helpful to consider using DBT skills to find balance.