By: Alissa Vieth, MPH, RD
A few months ago, I went through a hard period for my family, and I turned to food to help me cope and provide comfort. In fact, I eat for non-physical hunger reasons from time to time. As a Dietitian who takes a non-diet approach and integrates intuitive eating principles in my work with clients and my personal food philosophy, I am absolutely okay that I emotionally eat. To me, this is a part of normal eating and I do not demonize, place judgement or shame on this eating behaviour.
I am sharing this to humanize a very normal and common behaviour of using food for comfort or cope with emotions. How could we not turn to food when as infants we are comforted through being nursed, chest or bottle fed, or when many positive life memories involve food? We eat for many reasons: physical (nutrition and energy), social, financial, lifestyle, cultural and emotional reasons. Unfortunately, due to diet and wellness culture, emotional eating has been demonized. Food can support emotional needs as it can offer comfort, stress release, excitement and entertainment, and a temporary escape from boredom, or sadness to name a few reasons.
The balance to this behaviour is that it is not the only tool that I have nor that I depend on daily. Of course, we don’t always want to turn to food to regulate our emotions as this can negatively impact one’s health. As well if you are regularly avoiding feelings by eating to numb or push emotions away that is most likely a sign that there are some underlying issues to be addressed. So, if you find yourself frequently reaching for food to cope with emotions and it is causing frustration with your relationship to food or distress in your life think about some of the following strategies that can help kindly shift how you use this eating behaviour.
Allow yourself unconditional permission to eat
As humans, we cannot fight the fact that we need to eat regularly to meet our body’s energy and nutritional needs. The amount and types of food you eat can impact how you feel emotionally. Think about the E in the PLEASE skill – when you are not eating balanced meals regularly, this will be a possible vulnerability factor that will affect your ability to regulate emotions. In these situations, it will become even more likely that you may be driven to eat for emotional reasons.
Again, it is always okay to eat. If you are feeling hungry it is okay to eat without guilt and shame. Get to know your body and give it what it needs. Try and avoid judgement about what you eat and simply fuel your body.
Nurture your ability to attune to physical hunger and separate from emotional hunger
There are slightly different ways in which physical and emotional hunger show up. Generally, this might look like:
Physical hunger
- Open to eating a variety of food
- The feeling comes on gradually
- Physical sensations like low energy or stomach growling or salivating or poor concentration etc
- Feeling satisfied and content after the chance to eat
- Cue to eat happens roughly 2-4hrs after your last satisfying meal or snack
Emotional hunger
- Craving a specific food
- Feels like you need to eat the food NOW
- No physical feelings of hunger
- Still feel unsatisfied after eating
- Happens independently of the last time you ate
* Be aware that hunger cues may show up differently for you from the above list. Don’t get stuck if you feel something slightly differently.
Start by just noticing how these signals show up in your body. When you can check in with your body throughout the day. Take a few grounding breaths and scan your body. First off ask yourself “Am I physically hungry?” If the answer is yes, then honour your hunger. If you are experiencing emotional hunger take a pause and check in with what you might be hungry for and allow yourself to eat.
Understanding the difference between different types of hunger can be a difficult skill to master. With curiosity and reflecting on the information you get from your body you can nurture responding to your body’s needs.
Expand your emotion-coping toolbox and ADD them in
The urge and pull to eat for emotional reasons will not just turn off. In fact, the more one fights this behaviour the more misery will come along with it. Instead when possible try to bring awareness to the situation, this may be before you start eating, during or even after. Once you bring awareness to the moment ask the question What do I need now? ADD in something that will provide support or comfort to you.
Here is a list of ideas that you could ADD in to meet your needs:
Distraction: Change environment | Watch a funny movie | Browse a favourite website | Listen to music | Go to a bookstore or café | Play with your pet | Clean or do laundry
Deal directly with Feelings: Write a journal | Listen to music that matches your feelings | Write a letter | Sit with your feelings for 10 mins (ride the wave) | Talk with your therapist
Support: Call a friend | Email a friend | Text a friend | Talk to family | Engage with others on social media | Talk with a spiritual advisor | Talk with your therapist
Self-care: Set limits or boundaries | Respect your vulnerability | Claim some “alone” time | Sleep or rest | Write in a journal | Go for a walk outside | Take a break from devices
Source: Carrie Dennett 2021 Self-Care article
This strategy is very similar to building a self-soothing toolkit. This strategy does not aim to have you stop emotionally eating but instead get curious about what you may help improve your mood in addition to food. Over time as you build an awareness of emotions and a toolbox of supports you may notice that emotional eating shifts. Food is so much more than just fuel and we must respect that. The above strategies are just a few ways to be kind to emotional eating behaviours if this is something
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