By: Rayna Edels, M.A.
Emotions, particularly those that are unexpected, can feel like unwanted visitors.
Without exploring the function of emotions, we might be left frustrated when certain emotions arise. For example, imagine you perceive that the feeling of anxiety has appeared “out of the blue” – you might notice thoughts like expecting the worst-case scenario and wondering why you always feel out of control and physical sensations like increased heart rate, difficulty breathing, and dizziness. Without understanding the function of the emotion, you might notice secondary emotions like frustration, confusion, and the urge to get rid of the emotion. By observing the emotion and its’ features, you can use emotions to help you navigate your world.
Emotions – even those that might feel confusing or unhelpful in the moment – serve several important functions:
- Emotions give us information.
- They communicate important information about what is happening (e.g., anxiety – a threat is present).
- Remember, emotions are not facts. Because of this, it is important to check the facts (e.g., does this emotion fit the situation? Is the intensity of the emotion appropriate for the situation)
- Emotions communicate information to others.
- In addition to communicating information to ourselves, emotions tell others how we are feeling (e.g., anxiety – that you are worried about a situation and might need space or support).
- Emotions communicate to others through facial expressions, body posture, and tone of voice.
- Emotions motivate our behaviour.
- Finally, emotions have accompanying urges – connected to specific behaviours.
- Emotions help us act quickly in important situations (e.g., if you hear a car horn while you are walking down the street, you might startle – fight, flight, or freeze).
- Intense emotions can help us achieve a goal.
Next time you experience an emotion that surprises you, ask yourself:
- What is the emotion I am experiencing? This can be supported by using a visual tool like the Feeling Wheel.
- What is the intensity of the emotion (0-100)?
- What prompted the emotion?
- What is the emotion motivating me to do?
- What is the emotion communicating to others?
- What is the emotion communicating to me?
- What facts can I check to ensure the message sent to me was correct?
- What was the outcome of checking the facts?
By approaching emotions with curiosity and an opportunity for learning, you can turn them from unwanted to an invited visitor.
Image: unsplash.com