By Kat Matchett, M.A.
Valentine’s Day is a special time to express love and appreciation for those in our lives, and often a time to receive love and appreciation in return. But for some, the holiday can be a daunting reminder of loneliness or heartache. Fortunately, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) gives us tools to help us mindfully navigate our emotions during such holidays. Using the “Mindfulness of Others” skill as taught in DBT can help us navigate our feelings of loneliness and sadness.
By practising mindfulness of others, we learn to be aware of our own feelings and the feelings of people we interact with. It helps us to be in touch with our own emotions and to be aware of how our actions and words can affect the people in our lives. This can be especially beneficial on Valentine’s Day, when our emotions are often heightened. When we practice mindfulness of others on Valentine’s Day, we can focus on the positive aspects of the holiday. We can acknowledge how people in our lives have been supportive and loving, and how they have added to our lives. We can also be mindful of how our words and actions can affect those around us. This can be particularly helpful if we’re feeling lonely, as it can help us to focus on the love and appreciation we have for the people in our lives and to express it to them.
Mindfulness of others from DBT can also help us to be mindful of the feelings and needs of those around us. With our partners, friends, and family this can be a powerful tool for connection, communication and growth. Practically speaking, this can look like actively listening to your partner, being aware of their feelings, and taking the time to really understand their perspective. It can also mean being intentional in how you respond to them, being aware of the words you choose and how you use them, and being conscious of your body language and non-verbal communication. Practising mindfulness of others in a romantic relationship can lead to greater understanding and closeness, as well as better conflict resolution and improved overall relationship satisfaction.
Overall, using mindfulness of others can be an empowering tool to help us mindfully navigate our emotions and be mindful of the people in our lives. By taking the time to be aware of our own emotions and to be understanding of those around us, we can make Valentine’s Day a special and meaningful holiday.