By Kevin Chiao
In philosophy, dialectic is a method of discovering truth by discussing, recognizing, and considering ideas that are opposed to each other. Dialectics recognize that there can be multiple truths that can co-exist within a single situation. Identifying and recognizing seemingly conflicting perspectives can allow us to move towards an integration and synthesis of our experiences as human beings in totality, which ultimately contributes mental and emotional wellbeing. In Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), the main dialectic that underpins the treatment is Acceptance and Change. The seemingly opposing perspective that we are all doing the best we can with the tools/resources we have AND we can be better and do things to improve. So how can we use dialectics in our everyday life?
- Recognizing Multiple Truths and Perspectives
The first step in being dialectical is recognizing that there can be multiple truths. You can have an array of different emotions and perspectives for a single situation and that is okay! The recognition of multiple truths and experiences opens us up to different perspectives and information that could be valuable.
- Identify conflicting emotions and thoughts
Once we remind ourselves of the existence of multiple truths, we can move towards identifying our emotions and thoughts. Ask yourself what emotion(s) am I feeling? What are the thoughts accompanying the emotion? Here are some examples:“I feel sad that I won’t get to see my friends AND I feel happy to be moving away for school and living in a new place.”“I feel a lot of love for my family AND I feel anxious about the upcoming family gathering”
- Give yourself and others space and acceptance
Once you identify the thoughts and emotions, give yourself space to experience and accept the different emotions and thoughts. It is important to be mindful of judgements that says “I should feel/think X or I shouldn’t feel/think X” because those judgements and beliefs prevent us to full accept our experiences. Acceptance and recognition of our emotions and perspectives contributes to our emotional and mental wellbeing; without acceptance, change can be challenging and ineffective.
- Proceed mindfully
Once we allow ourselves to accept the various perspectives and feel into the accompanying emotions, we can find ways to move forward that honours our needs. Proceeding mindfully involves using our wise mind to synthesize the opposing views and find ways to move forward that align with our values. With the example of moving away and leaving friends, the person might schedule time to connect with friends virtually or take turns visiting one another. As move through the step of proceeding mindfully, it is also important to observe thoughts and judgments that says “I should do X or I shouldn’t do X.” They are thoughts that get in the way of us recognizing our highest values and act in ways that honour our deepest needs.
I invite you to begin looking for dialectics in your own life and practice allowing yourself to hold opposing viewpoints and feelings and acknowledge they can both can be valid and true!