By Olivia Provost-Walker (M.A.)
When I first heard of the idea of mindfulness, an image of myself sitting on the ground, with my eyes closed, experiencing stillness and silence arose in my mind. This image, peaceful as it looked, was very unfamiliar and though I was open to trying it, I wondered whether this version of mindfulness could ever truly feel like me. I thought meditation, the practice of training attention using specific techniques to attain a sense of clarity and calm, was the only way to engage in mindfulness. Luckily for me, it was not.
In DBT, Marsha Linehan (2014) defines mindfulness as “the act of consciously focusing the mind in the present moment without judgment and without attachment to the moment.” Through this process, we are able to step out of auto-pilot mode, where we are going through the motions without conscious awareness, and we become active participants in our lives. In fact, anything can be done mindfully except for sleeping! It can be helpful to learn and the “What” and the “How” skills of mindfulness to understand how to use it and benefit from it.
What Skills –What to do
- Observe: This is where we simply notice our experience in the present moment without trying to shorten or prolong it. For example, we observe with our senses any touch sensations that are present, any smells, any visual features, and any sounds. We can also observe internal phenomena, like observing an emotion, a thought, or a sensation arising. Simply noticing without trying to change anything.
- Describe: This skill involves applying descriptive labels to what we observe. For example, describing the pitch, volume, distance, or other qualities of a sound. Describing thoughts and emotions as such (e.g., “a judgemental thought is arising”) helps us slow down the mind and differentiate a thought, emotion, or sensation from fact.
- Participate: When we participate, we engage fully with the present moment or activity, with no self-consciousness. It can sometimes feel like being one with the task or being in what some call “flow”.
How Skills –How to do it
- Non-Judgementally: This skill means practicing without judging or evaluating things as either good or bad.
- One-mindfully: To practice one-mindfully, we must turn our attention to one thing at a time, focusing on only the present moment, the present activity.
- Effectively: To practice mindfulness effectively, we must do what works in contrast with doing what keeps us thinking we are right or justified.
For me, mindfulness looks like participating when dancing to my favourite songs, closing my eyes and listening to every beat, throwing myself fully into the moment. It also looks like making my morning coffee, observing the sounds and smells, the motion of pouring it, and the comforting heat of the mug. It can also look like sharing a meal with family and friends, describing the textures and flavours, basking in a moment of connection.
There is no shortage of opportunities to practice mindfulness – to turn off auto-pilot mode and be present in our lives. You can practice using your day to day activities, such as when waking up, feeding a pet, or doing laundry, or you can plan activities with the intention of engaging mindfully. It can also be helpful to connect your mindfulness practice to things that are culturally meaningful to you, whether that be engaging with a ritual or ceremony, a type of dance or movement, or a spiritual practice. Mindfulness is not one-size-fits-all and coming to your own conclusions of how mindfulness can be for you is a powerful discovery!
Image retrieved from Unsplash