By Alanna Singer, M.A.
It’s that time of year again.. it’s starting to cool down, the days are getting shorter, and in the midst of our ever-mercurial weather, I have found myself feeling tired and sluggish, wishing time away until the winter break… “I only need to get through the next couple of months and then I get a break.”… This tendency – wishing time away – can happen quickly and automatically, often without our conscious noticing: looking forward to the weekend as a means of getting through the workweek, feeling as though we can’t wait until a big presentation or meeting is finished, wishing that the schoolyear was over so that the summer can be enjoyed. Looking toward events in the future can serve as a source of positivity, bringing feelings of optimism, and can even be a motivator to complete those tasks that are standing in between us and our desires. At the same time, this type of thinking and anticipating can take us away from the present moment, pulling our focus and awareness away from actively living in the here and now.
Alongside this tendency to wish time away, thinking about the future can be a painful experience for some, bringing with it feelings of anxiety or hopelessness. Others can have difficulty thinking about the future due to their current circumstances. We can also get caught up in thinking about the past: difficult or unfair situations that have happened, wishing that something had gone differently. When we get stuck in the cycle of focusing on the past or future, we are pulled away from consciously paying attention to the here and now.
When we think about mental health and wellbeing, there has been a longstanding emphasis on practicing mindfulness in order to ground us in the present moment. Mindfulness strategies are an essential element within the Dialectical Behaviour Therapy framework, alongside other core components, that can serve as an effective means to be present-focused. We can work to achieve a greater balance between forward- or past-thinking and focusing on the present moment through various small, key practices:
- Take
a few brief moments throughout the day to engage in mindfulness practice. This
can range from taking one minute to tune into your experience in the midst of a
chaotic day, to taking 5- or 10-minutes to really pay attention to and reflect
on what you are noticing within yourself and around you. The key is to observe,
label and describe what is happening in the present moment, while remaining
nonjudgmental and without trying to change it.
- What thoughts are coming up for me?
- What am I feeling (what are my emotions)?
- What physical sensations do I notice?
- What can I hear and see around me?
- What can I smell? Taste?
- Slow things down by paying attention to your breathing and noticing the different sensations that go alongside it: your chest rising and falling, your feet flat on the ground, your thoughts that arise as you tune inward.
- When you notice you are focused on the future or the past, look for a thought that anchors you in the present moment. The simple act of noticing the future or past thought means that you are already engaging in mindfulness! Take a few moments to tune into your current experience in order to help balance the future/past thought with one that is present-focused. Attach this thought by using an “and” statement. For example, I can’t wait for 5pm so I can leave work, and here in this moment, I am feeling tired but have accomplished some of my tasks as I move through the day.
- Pay attention to and look for those small, often micro moments that invite feelings of warmth, comfort, or positivity. These can sometimes be hard to find, and may be as subtle as enjoying the smell of your morning coffee or listening to your favourite music or podcast on your way to work or school. Alternatively, take a few moments at the end of the day to reflect on the highlights from the day: thoughts or interactions that made you smile, small successes, or moments that made you feel gratitude. These can help you focus and find little pleasures in the here and now, and to balance forward/past thinking that may arise throughout the day.
Sources:
Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. The Guilford Press.
Koerner, K. (2012). Doing dialectical behaviour therapy: A practical guide (J.B. Persons, Ed.). The Guilford Press.
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