By Rhiannon Ueberholz, B.A.
Transitions are the awkward in-between periods that come with closing one life chapter and beginning another. These can be exciting times, for example, graduations, marriages, or moving into a new home all involve change and subsequent adjustment. However, once the excitement is over, they force us to face the anxiety-inducing question of “what’s next?”. I recently experienced a transition period as my five-year undergraduate career ended on a random Tuesday afternoon after submitting the honour’s thesis that I had spent the past year working on. In part attributed to the stress of the pandemic, the feelings of joy, relief, and accomplishment I had always anticipated after finishing my university career did not rush over me. Instead, I felt more lost and panicked than ever. Like many of us who have experienced significant life changes during the pandemic, I could not help but feel frustrated by the anti-climactic ending to such a fantastic journey.
Transition periods can be challenging to cope with under normal circumstances, particularly if the end of one journey (i.e., leaving a job or graduating) results in temporary stagnation. It is essential to recognize that, though these times are plagued with uncertainty, they allow for great personal growth and an opportunity for reflection. Based on my personal experience and the recent psychological literature that has emerged, here are a few strategies that can help you to make the most of transitional stages.
Take time to celebrate: The first step is acknowledging that you are experiencing great change, and this is something worth celebrating! Before COVID-19, a life event like a graduation or moving into a new home would be acknowledged with a ceremony or house-warming party. When these celebratory rituals are taken away, it becomes easy to overlook our accomplishments in pursuit of the next great journey.For some of us, the thought of a celebratory Zoom cocktail party might make us want to throw our computers at a wall. While this may not be the case for everyone, you can think of any activity you enjoy as a form of celebratory event. The following are a few ways you can celebrate:
1. Go for a walk in nature: Studies have shown that going on a walk in nature can increase happiness (Zelenski & Nisbet; 2012). To get the most out of this experience, try walking without listening to music or a podcast and just take some time to appreciate the outdoors.
2. Have a “spa day”: As hair salons and spas are currently closed, you can try to re-create the experience at home by having an at-home spa day! Splurge on a few self-care products and dedicate some time to relaxation and feeling your best.
3. Create something: Have a day where you do something creative! This could be painting, knitting, making a vision board, or even starting a garden. Meaningfully engaging with a creative project can help to take our brains off autopilot and cultivate mindfulness, contributing to positive mood (Gambis, 2015). This could also be a great way to include other people in your celebration; instead of having a Zoom call that involves sitting and talking face-to-face, everyone can join a call while working on their own creative project. This can eliminate some of the forced interaction aspect of Zoom/Facetime and may help hold everyone accountable in committing to their creative project.
The important takeaway is to schedule some time to do something that brings you joy. There is no obligation to re-create a watered-down event that may have occurred if we were not in a pandemic. Decide what will make you happiest and take the day for yourself; you deserve it.
Express gratitude: Gratitude in the context of a large milestone can involve reflecting on the positive aspects that may have been overlooked amidst the stress of the experience. Research has shown that practicing gratitude can enhance well-being and foster resilience, both of which are important when experiencing change (Wood et al., 2010). While going through a transition, think back on the happy times you experienced. If you finished a job or graduated, think of the people who helped and supported you, or any lessons you learned along the way. Write them down and re-visit your gratitude list whenever you feel anxious or frustrated. If there is someone who was particularly impactful – a kind professor, or a friend who made time for you – send them a letter or an e-mail thanking them. This may feel a little over the top, but research finds that sending thank you notes can increase your self-esteem, as well as strengthen the bond between you and the receiver (Kumar & Epley, 2018).
Be idle. After graduating, I had no deadlines, meetings, or work obligations for the first time in a year. If you find yourself in a similar situation, the freedom and uncertainty of not knowing where your next opportunity will come from can be scary. The best thing you can do is look at the free time you have been afforded as a gift. In the pandemic, people report that they are working on average, 40 minutes longer a day (Defilippes et al., 2020). Increased work hours and decreased time for enjoyable activities lead to time starvation; the antithesis of time affluence, which is having the time to meaningfully engage in pleasurable activities (Kasser & Sheldon, 2009). Time affluence and valuing time over money have been associated with greater happiness and well-being (Kasser & Sheldon, 2009). If you find yourself feeling lost without the constant hustle, remind yourself it is okay to take some time to relax. Practice mindfulness, cook yourself a nice meal, or read a book; simply let yourself be.
To conclude, new life chapters can be stressful and uncertain, especially in the current times we are inhabiting. The best way to get through them is with an attitude of self-compassion and patience.
References
DeFilippis, E., Impink, S. M., Singell, M., Polzer, J., & Sadun, R. (2020). Collaborating During Coronavirus: The Impact of COVID-19 on the Nature of Work(No. w27612; p. w27612). National Bureau of Economic Research.https://doi.org/10.3386/w27612
Gambis, M. (2015). Why Making Art is the New Meditation. The Washington Post. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2015/08/25/why-making-art-is-the-new-meditation/.
Kasser, T., & Sheldon, K. M. (2009). Time Affluence as a Path toward Personal Happiness and Ethical Business Practice: Empirical Evidence from Four Studies. Journal of Business Ethics, 84(S2), 243–255.https://doi.org/10.1007/s10551-008-9696-1
Kumar, A., & Epley, N. (2018). Undervaluing Gratitude: Expressers Misunderstand the Consequences of Showing Appreciation. Psychological Science, 29(9), 1423–1435.https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797618772506
Wood, A. M., Froh, J. J., & Geraghty, A. W. A. (2010). Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 890–905.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.005
Zelenski, J. M., & Nisbet, E. K. (2014). Happiness and Feeling Connected: The Distinct Role of Nature Relatedness. Environment and Behavior, 46(1), 3–23.https://doi.org/10.1177/0013916512451901
Images
Ranquist, E. (n.d.). Graduation Caps. Pexels. https://www.pexels.com/photo/photography-of-people-graduating-1205651/.
Dalvan, L. (n.d.). Nature. Pexels. https://www.pexels.com/photo/green-grass-near-trees-1770809/.