Broadview Psychology

Broadview Psychology

The ABC’s of Being a BLM Ally

By

By Dr. Jillian Glasgow

As I observed the civil unrest that occurred in the wake of the police killings of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, I had a sequence of different reactions. At first I was horrified, and would shake my head sadly when I saw videos or posts on social media or the news. Then I would scroll past or turn off anything that was too uncomfortable, like videos of excessive use of force by police, or incendiary statements by political officials that seemed only to incite further violence. It was only this week that I started to take a closer look at my reaction and recognized that I was unconsciously avoiding difficult subjects. I am a white woman, with my own cultural experiences and biases, and I don’t want to be part of the problem. But that left me with a dilemma: If I am no longer satisfied being a passive observer, what can I do? Here are some suggestions that I came across that might be helpful to readers in a similar position.

Awareness

  • Use mindfulness of your thoughts and emotions to explore your feelings about this issue. It wasn’t until a few days ago that I actually paused and noticed that underneath my feelings of anger, was sadness (e.g., about the killings and ongoing excessive use of force), shame and guilt (e.g., for being white, for not doing more in the past), anxiety (e.g., that if I want to change things, I’ll have to engage in difficult conversations), hopelessness (e.g., what can one person do?).  Notice and accept these emotions, and listen to what they are trying to tell you.
  • Be aware of the racism that is inherent in our society. Accept that we hold biases towards/against certain races and many of us have benefited from a racist system (see the White Privilege Checklist for some concrete examples). This can reduce defensiveness when someone calls you out.

Believe

  • Believe people’s experiences of racism and discrimination. There is often a tendency to deny these experiences, or say “that’s not what I meant or what I intended”. Instead, try to notice your own reaction (what emotions drive this response?), and make an effort to validate the person and do better in the future.

Challenge

  • Be brave so you can increase openness and make mistakes. That’s okay! It is an opportunity to learn!
  • Challenge anti-black racism whenever you see it and don’t shy away from difficult conversations or realizations. For example, for a few weeks after George Floyd was killed I noticed myself calling it “a difficult situation”. This was a form of avoidance used to tone down my language in order to avoid offending anyone.
    • Have difficult conversations with family to challenge belief systems. Try to stay mindful of your own emotions, so you can listen and communicate effectively.
    • Have difficult conversations at work, including reviewing company policies and noticing and pointing out when you are in a room of mostly White people making decisions about Non-white clients, customers, or employees.
  • Advocate for changes to justice and education systems (and many others) that maintain systematic oppression. Write letters, sit on committees, attend protests (safely), use your vote wisely, etc.

Donate and volunteer

Educate

  • For adults and teens, you can educate yourself by reading posts that challenge your belief system or make you uncomfortable:
    • Watch YouTube videos, TV shows (e.g., Little Fires Everywhere), podcasts (e.g., Brene Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast) , and documentaries about racism (e.g., 13th)
    • Do the research yourself and if you ask Black or Non-white people for more information, allow them to say no, as many people can find the burden of educating others about our common history to be exhausting.
    • Consume media from Black and Non-white sources (e.g., books, media, artists, music).
  • Educate your children:
    • Consume media that is more diverse: e.g., provide books with Black and Non-White protagonists, provide dolls/action figures/toys that are Black and Non-White, watch movies with Non-White protagonists, etc.
    • Have age-appropriate conversations with your children about racism and systematic oppression (see reading list for children in resources).
    •  Provide “brave learning spaces” in schools to help challenge and process students’ discomfort and learn about people, places, and history that challenge their belief systems.
    • Advocate for changes to the education system, including adding content to the curriculum that educates children about Canada’s history with people of different ethnicities and white supremacy. I only learned about oppression of Indigenous communities in University and only learned in writing this post that Canada had segregated schools until 1983!

This is a long list that may seem overwhelming, and trying to do too many things at once (while also coping with a pandemic!) can easily lead to burn out. Pick a few things to focus on first and you can come back to other options later. Change is hard and any kind of sustained change to oppressive systems will require continuous work, so taking breaks is important in order to conserve your energy for later.

Stay safe, everyone, and be brave. #Blacklivesmatter.

More Resources

https://www.crrf-fcrr.ca/en/
https://globalnews.ca/news/7013208/how-to-be-an-ally-black-community/
https://ca.hellomagazine.com/celebrities/02020060956567/anti-black-racism-education-action-resources

Reading lists for adults

https://www.adifferentbooklist.com/?q=h
https://www.blackmomsconnection.com/resources
https://mhpl.bibliocommons.com/list/share/1387030837_mhplstafflists/1647414510_black_lives_matter

Talking to children about racism

https://mhpl.bibliocommons.com/list/share/1387030837_mhplstafflists/1650458121_antiracist_reading_for_children
https://globalnews.ca/news/7010645/parenting-teaching-kids-black-racism/

Images

Baster, N. (2018). Black Lives Matter Demonstration. UnSplash. https://unsplash.com/photos/6_y5Sww0-h4.